Mark Evans, Chief Veterinarian, RSPCA:
"When I watch Crufts, what I see is a parade of mutants. It's some freakish, garish beauty pageant that has nothing, frankly, to do with health and welfare."
Last night, during the Westminster Kennel Club Best in Show judging, attendees had to endure an horrific spectacle...an actual, bona fide "parade of mutants". The lanky bodies of the deviants featured raised arms with banners stretched between them. Excessive layers of clothing were required to maintain body warmth. It seems that the AKC premier event had spawned a defective breed...the "PETA terrorist".
The adverse effect of inbreeding was evident. No brains! The mutants flashed signs proclaiming "Mutts Rule" and "Breeders Kill Shelter Dogs' Chances". The media tagged this interruption in the night's planned activities as a "protest."
These defective mutants are obviously missing some DNA, or perhaps their frail bodies are suffering the effects of a protein calorie malnutrition. Maybe due to a vitamin deficiency, their brains can no longer process in a logical manner? They haven't noticed that Westminster KC and Pedigree partner up every year for the "Dogs Rule" Pedigree Adoption Drive. The Westminster broadcast is peppered with commercials advocating homes for shelter dogs, and they raise MILLIONS for this cause every year. These advertising spots are narrated by none other than the alien-chasing, vegetable-chomping, sex-addicted star of "The X-Files", and star of "Californicator"... PETA's champion, David Duchovny.
In the Pedigree commercial, David softly growls "I am a good boy".
Sure you are, David! You're a good boy! Yes, you are!
Now why on earth would a group (PETA) that claims to love mutts and shelter dogs protest an event (Westminster show) that raises literally millions of dollars for them, each and every year?
As we noted earlier, this particular breed of human suffers from a profound mental retardation.
But the most glaring evidence to support the case of the mutants' missing chromosome lies within PETA, the organization they represent.